Taking A Moment For Discovery

Zero Plans

I went to Northern Illinois University, and early on in my freshman year, I met Tom Mahar. He was a tall kid with a huge appetite, and soon we became best friends. By sophomore year, we were sharing a room at our fraternity house, and just before graduation, we had a big talk about our futures. Well, mostly Tom talked.

Tom was pessimistic. A combination of his opinions about politics and the state of the world in general, combined with his degree in anthropology, told him he wasn’t going to have a bright career ahead of him. Instead, he was planning to go to Europe and travel the continent, trying to see everything he could. He had a job lined up and a visa. For six months, he would be in Switzerland, then it was off to hitchhike everywhere else, searching for his new home.

Without hesitation, I told him I wanted in. Now he hadn’t asked, but I knew that this was going to be an adventure, and I wanted to have it with my friend. When else in our lives would we have the time to do so? Besides, it would give me space to think. I could figure out my own path forward. It would be fun.

And so, on a day in early September, Tom and I boarded a plane and headed east towards Zurich for our new jobs at an airport hotel for the next six months.

We wouldn’t make it six weeks.

Chaos Abounds

While we met a lot of people at that hotel and had some great times, the demands of the job and the way Tom, in particular, was treated left us in a place where we needed to move on. We put in our notice, then headed south towards Egypt, where we knew someone who had a place to stay. After stops in Venice, Milan, and Rome, we eventually found ourselves exploring the pyramids in Giza. Not even two weeks later, we were sick with dysentery, desperate to get out of the country and find someplace new. So, we did.

Just after Thanksgiving, we were in Athens and Crete. By mid-December, it was Austria, and we celebrated Christmas in Amsterdam. We had to get a loan from our parents just to make it to England, and we spent New Year’s Eve in Trafalgar Square. For six months, we called London home, working in a hotel and as bartenders at a pub called Ye Olde Black Lion and having a blast. But eventually we wanted to see the rest of the area, so we hit the road again, seeing the rest of the UK, running with the bulls in Spain, and taking in the sights in Morocco.

Somewhere along the way, I thought I would have this moment of clarity. I imagined sitting on a hillside overlooking a lake when it would all come rushing towards me. I would then know what my life would be. What my career looked like. But it never happened, at least not like that.

Instead, somewhere in the Netherlands, sitting in the back row of a crowded train car, it hit me. I can’t wait for a light bulb to go off over my head. I have to get moving now! I had to make my own future, and it was time to get started.

Finding Wins

Things didn’t go as I expected on that trip, but after a year of traveling, Tom and I went back home to the Chicago area and started our lives. He would go on to become a bigwig in the hotel industry, while I took a company through the dot-com bubble bust and survived.

Tom and I are still friends today. We talk regularly, and he was just visiting me the other day. We even talk about that year all the time, reminiscing about the crazy things that happened.

Having that space to think changed my life for the better, and I couldn’t have done it without Tom!