Use these tips the next time you need to negotiate.
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Negotiating can feel scary. Over 50% of U.S. workers don’t negotiate their salary offers, according to a 2025 Salary Negotiation & Expectations Report by Resume Genius. Whether from a fear of seeming like you are asking for too much or dread from the potential disappointment if your proposal is rejected, negotiating can feel emotionally heavier than it is. Negotiation is just a conversation. It is a stating wants and needs from all parties involved. It can actually open the door for deeper connections when done correctly. Here’s the best eight words to say when negotiating.
Defining Negotiation: What It is And What It Isn’t
Negotiation happens on a daily basis. Asking for resources, discussing deadlines, and allocating workloads are all forms of negotiation, even though it doesn’t always feel that way. Negotiating is a form of information gathering. The goal is to reach a conclusion that is not only best for all parties, but also would not have occurred without deeper discussions on the needs of each stakeholder. It is a higher form of problem solving.
What is not negotiation: conflict. Many assume this and therefore view negotiation in a negative light. Negotiation does not mean winning at someone’s expense. While having a solid understanding of the other person’s needs and goals is a key part of effective negotiation, it does not mean it is a manipulation tactic. Being collaborative, open, and flexible differentiates this type of communication from manipulation or bullying. Negotiation should be met with difficulty, and be wary if the other person is treating it as such. If someone is not receptive at all to negotiating, it usually stems from their own internal pain points rather than anything you did.
The Best Words To Say When Negotiating
The best words to say when negotiating are: “I would love for this to work out.” This phrase sounds so simple, yet it is extremely effective. It frames your request within the reality that it is feasible, and that things will work out well for both parties. Use this immediately after outlining your request. It may seem like this statement is a given – wanting everything to work out. But saying it solidifies your position that you intend to collaborate and find a resolution. It is a future-looking and positive outlook.
Important Negotiation Tips
Remember to approach negotiation as a relaxed conversation rather than a stressful event. Research consistently finds that calm, prepared, and collaborative communicators achieve better outcomes than anxious or highly aggressive ones. Prepare effectively by asking yourself:
- What is the best outcome I am hoping for?
- Why does this matter to me?
- What might matter most to the other person?
- What alternatives could satisfy both of us?
Knowing the answers to each of these before going into a negotiation will help you stay calm and centered.
The rules that apply to effective communication also adhere to negotiating. Active listening, thoughtfully pausing, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing yields better results. Over talking or being the loudest does not make someone a skilled negotiator.
Do not first assume they will say no and lower your initial offer at the onset. Negotiate with the other person first, not yourself. Having a longer back and forth conversation has a higher chance of success. This establishes micro moments of building trust while relaying the sentiment ‘I am continuing to listen to you and hear you out.’
The best negotiators leave both sides wanting to work together again. It is one of the most fundamental workplace skills – helping people with different priorities move forward toward a shared solution. When professionals view negotiation as a collaboration rather than a battle, it benefits everyone. Speaking up, advocating for yourself, and building stronger worker relationships all stem from the practice of negotiating.

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